Essilyn Rambles

Hey everyone, my first entry on here. I plan to post up a few layouts that I made for MySpace later. All of them are DIV / overlay. So yeah, I hope to work on some defaults as well soon. I haven't done one of those in a long time. Actually, I can't even remember the last one that I did. That was a just a quick update though. I will tell you more when things progress or whatever seems to happen.

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But ok. so today I am the tirdest I have ever been. That isn't shocking. I really believe that coffee and cappuccino even made it worse this time. I really need to get more sleep. If I don't I might go more crazy then I already feel  I am. Either way right now I can't sleep. I tried to. I am just going to have to sit here and zone in and out of attention. Yeah though, I am using this as more of a site to post the different layouts and things that I make. It is a semi-personal update like thing for me. I hope nobody minds that. Other than the tiredness though, my mom and dad are still fighting. Hmm, moving my room downstairs so my mom can have her own bedroom. Oh well, I am sure I will get use to it. Still, I was hopeing all of it would blow over. Apparently my parent's are not that mature. Ha, everyone in this house was already aware of that fact long ago. On top of them never acting like a married couple we are having money problems. I actually had to give my mom the money to pay to take Kobie to the vet. Kobie is my new puppy that we got about two weeks ago. He needs shots, and my mom doesn't have the money. I suppose I understand. We have alot to pay for this year because of school and different thngs. Like a lot all at once and it is just so insane. Yep, basically things are in a whole right now. I am sitll trying to stay positive. It is really hard for me to do. I feel so lost this year so far. I don't know what to do about it. I am starting to feel like there is just no answers to all the questions that have been floating around in my head for the longest time. Ha, I am so negative. I doubt anyone cares. My parents sure don't. They are so blind to reality. All I know is I am falling apart, and that I am getting desperate now. Easier, it needs to be easier. I just can't understand everything, and have the time I feel as if I am in a daze. It is not a good feeling. Especially for being in one so long.

Things are good with the exception of all that. And if I just give it time it should all straighten out. I hope so anyway. So yeah, school starts on Tuesday. I kind of can't wait. But then I never want to go back to that place ever again. Ususally I like school for the most part. It has been different ever since the end of first semester last year though.No, I can't explain, but  yeah. It bothers me, but then I want to see all my friends and all that. I want something more to distract me. Plus, clubs and sports are always a good thing to occupy the time that I have. Usually they always take up a good porion of my time. There are so many of them, and everyone things I am crazy for taking on so much stuff, but I really couldn't care. I love it. I just worry that since I have so many advanced and honors classes this year that it might be hard to get everything done. Especially all of the homework. It might just make me go more crazy then I already am. Oh boy, I really don't know what to expect.

Hmm, I am like really hungry right now. All I ate was like three bites of a cold gross pancake this morning and some juice. But yeah we are having lasagna. I really wish it wasn't so late so I could actually take a nap too. Oh wells. I promise those layouts will be up eventually, and also if you have any request for layourys I would be willing to take a whack at making one for anybody.  They have to be within reason, and please don't bug me to finish them. Sometimes it is hard to find time. That is all I really have to say at the moment.